Very Lonely Without the Divine
Yesterday I was doing energy work on myself to integrate old masculine wisdom I gathered over lifetimes as a monk, recluse etc, mostly, but not only, through Tibetan lives and female understanding of a modern and healthy life.
It was big work and required that I concentrate on the human learning and experiences to merge the strands safely. Last night when the work was over I felt different, stronger and more complete but also very lonely which I thought was unusual. I had just merged ancient wisdom and modern knowledge, spiritual proficiency with modern psychology and masculine with feminine. I had finally merged my polar opposites into a more cohesive, livable character. What could be wrong? I decided not to worry about it and to go to sleep, which is the best remedy for anything as my kids will tell you.
This morning I picked up where I left off last night and moved onto the next stage of the healing: to integrate my deep connection to the Divine Feminine with the person I had become yesterday. As soon as I brought Her in:
- I started feeling joyful again. The joy and happiness increased until it was constant again.
- Then I started feeling physically warmer (and realised I had been cold since the day before)
- Finally, I started feeling other people’s love for me again. The wonderful warm waves I feel all day when someone dear to me thinks of me lovingly were flowing through my energy again.
What a relief! I wasn’t lonely any more. I have known for a long time that being disconnected from the Divine leaves me feeling lonely and empty deep inside. I had not realised that the disconnection also prevented me from feeling sweet human love.
Which is probably why last Tuesday I was really struck by this Abraham quote: “The way you feel is only ever about your alignment, or misalignment, with the Source within you.”