The Point of No Return
After I wrote the post “How to Surrender”, many contacted me expressing that they find it difficult to surrender. We all find it scary.
It’s not in our culture. We are all trained to be super in control go-getter alpha males and females. Surrendering is compared to a military defeat, a lost battle, a weakness.
Well, we can only let go of what we have. Surrendering is letting go: how can you let go of something you never had? So the first step to true surrender is actually to BE IN CONTROL!
Being in control of our lives and having a sense of purpose gives us self esteem, makes it easier to like and love ourselves. IT CREATES A SENSE OF SAFETY.
When we feel safe, we relax and we learn to TRUST. And this my friends is the key to surrendering. We need to, we absolutely must trust so we can surrender.That is why traditionally we attached ourselves to a master who had already gone through the process and we knoew we could trust. It still helps if you can find one, as I have. Otherwise, we just need to create community to mentor and support each other.
When we start feeling safety and trust in our bodies and souls, we can loosen our grip on life and FORGIVE. As we forgive we realize that no one is to blame in the big cosmic order of things and that we can only ever take RESPONSIBILITY for what we choose and make happen in our lives.
So there you have it: create safety and trust, forgive and take responsibility.
By now we are good people. And pretty smug on the inside usually. We know what we are doing spiritually. Might even have some healing, meditative or psychic powers we learned the hard way! We have mastered it, earned it. It feels goooooood! We feel like little gods walking among confused humans. We hold the map in our hand. Yes!
Oops: we’re missing this crucial element: HUMILITY. Now let’s be honest: no one wants to learn that one! hahaha! even those of us who wholeheartedly jumped into awareness, honesty and radical forgiveness don’t really want to have their ego broken up and ground down into humble powder! So the divine, the goddess, the universe, your kids, your partner, your neighbor or your boss will oblige. Make no mistake: we all do it for each other. We all break someone and are broken by someone. If not, some ‘act of God’, an accident, a terrible long illness or a near death experience will get the job done.
THAT is the scary part of surrendering: we don’t know what’s on the other side until we’ve been through it. (Kind of like giving birth for those of you who have!) All we know is that the people on the other side seem really happy.
In practice most of us surrender one issue at a time. If we changed too fast most of us would loose our bearings and become mentally ill. Spiritual enlightenment is close enough to madness as it is!
But I tell you: after all the anguish, the torture, the feeling that “I can’t do it!”, the tears, there is that moment of annihilation, of complete letting go, of SURRENDER and in the next instant, all of sudden, your heart is pure peace, you are absolutely at one with the Divine, everything is clear, your breathing is deep. All pain has disappeared: you are pure loving joy. You have dissolved into love.
Set your intention to get there and it will happen, for sure, because it is your human nature to want to know the divine. It is easier than ever now that we are at this collective point of no return: go with it, let the wave carry you. You are not the first one to cross over: there are already healers, mystics and religious leaders waiting for you on the other side.
What issue are YOU surrendering at this time of your life? Are YOU reaching your point of no return?