Selflessness

by Sophie on May 10, 2011

I think that real selflessness does not exist. Mostly, we do what appears to others to be selfless because of our own internal motivation or programming that makes us feel happier or more in balance when we give and look after others than when we don’t. Or because the payback for our selfless actions, however obscure to others, is very real for us, be it a need to be in control, believing selflessness will take us to Heaven, or ‘That’s how things are meant to be’.  And while I understand being of service, if real selflessness does exist, I think it’s unhealthy because it is not sustainable.

Of course selflessness exists as an ideal. A point on a spectrum within which we choose how to exercise our free will to create new experiences. Imagine a line with complete selfishness at one end and complete selflessness on the other.

Complete selfishness is not sustainable because it closes the heart and stops the soul from expanding so even if a whole lifetime or several life times are dedicated to this exploration, eventually we have to let go of that extreme to experience more joy and love.

Complete selflessness is not sustainable either because it does not allow us to nourish our bodies or our emotions and most often creates dis-ease in the body, sometimes resulting in death (breast cancer, in my opinion, is a classic example of very loving people giving too much that is not sustainable in the long run).

Maybe one of the reasons we have a physical body for a while is to fully illustrate the concept of self-care? Because here on earth, in a physical body, no self-care means illness, pain and death. Deterioration. Is it possible that the same applies to the emotions and to the soul and that we need to care for our emotional health and souls in a way that is neither selfish nor selfless? Because balance is definitely part of enlightenment!

I think one of our lessons on earth is to learn to use our free will to determine where on that spectrum we can be fully healthy, meaning that we are cooperative and selfless enough to support the life and growth of others while being selfish enough to see to our own needs so we can keep going, nourished and replenished so we always have more to offer and share. Does that sound like a virtuous cycle?

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1 Jeff Staebell May 11, 2011 at 12:16 am

IMHO, the Ultimate Act of Selflessness is Pure Unadulterated Self Love. If you don’t put your Self first, no one else will, not at least in a manner that promotes growth. If you don’t Love your Self, then who will? Yet for so many this appears to be the opposite, Ultimate Selfishness. So many believe that they have to give unto another to the point of losing themselves in something other than themselves and then from that fulfillment comes Self Fulfillment. In some ways that is true yet when it is done in order to fill a void that results from a Belief in Self Worthlessnes this is not fulfilling to the both the Heart and the Soul. It remains empty seeking resolution to that emptiness. Yet when one gives of themselves to be Of Service because they are sharing with another what another only Believes they do not have in order to allow that Love to flow between the two of them. Then both are invigorated. This is of course assuming the recipient is in a place to receive this Gift. Why is it that this never putting your Self first is a “standard” of living? Passed on from generation to generation. Would the world be a better place if we FIRST Love our Selves and from that have more than enough to not just give but share with others. An Ebb and Flow of The Sea of Love would result. It IS achievable, but not when the Heart is blocked from long ago embedded emotional agonies that have been seeking resolution to those agonies in infinitely variable ways. Loving through Pain only temporarily alleviates the Pain. Loving through Love just IS and all benefit.

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