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Seeing Things As They Are

Posted on January 15, 2015

Nostalgia, sadness, heartache, loss: I have spent the past 2 years prone to these shadow emotions of the heart. It makes sense since I am an abuse survivor, I have spent my adult life moving countries and leaving friends and family behind, and I am now at an age when my kids have started leaving home and some of my friends are leaving their physical bodies already.

Then bingo! I realised that when I pine for something I can’t have, it’s usually because I want what I wish it COULD be. I’ll repeat that: when thinking about something makes me sad, it’s usually because I am sad I can’t have what I wish it would be. But when I see it as it REALLY is, I don’t want it anymore, because as it is, it is not what I need or desire. Then I can stop pining for it, let go of the sadness caused by not having it and start creating what I really wanted in the first place.

The trick, of course, is to see and accept things as they really are and not as I wish they would be. Left to my own emotions, I can numb myself, check out, delude myself, stay in denial. So I use energy work to clear the shadows and to bring more light and truth to all that nostalgia and sadness. Because if something was great in the first place, I rarely feel sad that it’s gone. Instead, I feel grateful and privileged that I had it/lived through it in the first place. What was lived well leaves me happy. What was unfulfilled at the time is what leaves me pining and nostalgic.

Try it: think of something that makes you sad and decide if you are seeing it as it really is or as you wish it would be. You can share in a comment below: I would love to hear what you think about this!

2 Comments

  • Reply Leigh Ann March 27, 2015 at 11:56 am

    Yes! This is a great post.

    “The trick, of course, is to see and accept things as they really are and not as I wish they would be.” This was one of the main lessons I learned during my Vipassana (a 10 day, silent meditation retreat) course. It was a big one to learn and I’m still working on seeing the real, real reality and not the one I’ve made up in my mind. Although, I’m learning that the made up one may have served a purpose during the time it was created, but now many more inaccurate realities can be released. It’s taking some work, but it’s been well worth it! Thank you for all of your teachings, support and guidance Sophie. Invaluable.

  • Reply Leigh Ann March 27, 2015 at 11:57 am

    At Vipassana the term they taught was “yathabhuta” to see things as they are, not as you would like them to be.

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