Love is a Choice

by Sophie on February 22, 2011

At the end of the day, love is a choice. Like respect is a choice. People can groom us for it in childhood, train us to do the right thing and to say the right thing. And it’s true that with good habits we are more likely to have a default of being respectful or of being loving. But in truth, we make the choice to be loving just like we make the choice to be respectful: one interaction at a time.

Even if we had to recover from pain, heartache or abuse, loving is a choice we can make. One interaction at a time.

Even if we were raised lovingly, most of us have black holes of deceit, betrayal and self-deprecation. Are we going to listen to the back holes of nothingness or are we going to choose to love?

When we choose to love, when we take the risk, we embrace life, we bank on our future. When we choose to love another, we choose to love ourselves and to bring flow and joy in our life. Can we take the risk NOT to love?

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker February 22, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Love is a choice even in a marriage. My husband and I have been married for 38 years. In that 38 years, I can think of 3 or 4 times that I have made the personal commitment to stay in the marriage and to continue to love my husband. I make a point of looking at what makes me unhappy in the marriage and if it is something that I can change about me, then I do. There is nothing I can change about my husband. That is his choice, not mine. I can only change me. I also make a list of what makes me happy in our marriage and in my relationship with my husband. Every time, those pluses have been more important than the few negatives that I can come up with.

There are two main reasons that we have remained together for so long. One is our sense of humor. We are able to laugh with each other a lot. The other is that my husband is my best friend. There is nothing that I can’t talk to him about. He may not understand it all but he is willing to listen. I guess that I should have said 3 main reasons. The most important one is that we continue to love each other and that love continues to grow year after year in spite of any struggles that we may encounter. The struggles make us and our love stronger.


2 Sophie February 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm

That’s totally awesome Patricia! Yes, I agree with you that’s how couples who stay together that I know consciously do it: choose to love. My only exception to that is abuse of course. Thank you so much for your enlightening comment!


3 MeMichelle February 24, 2011 at 12:37 am

This is such a beautiful post Sophie, and it really speaks to my heart..In the past, I’ve been so hurt by others, and it took me awhile to forgive the betrayal, deceit, and even the self-deprecation that you spoke of…much of it was others hurting me, and some of it-hurt I caused myself. Time heals all wounds as they say. I would have preferred to love right away, but eventually I understood that love and acceptance were the only solution to the heartache I felt-and to the anger. The anger and heartache didn’t hurt the people who harmed me—it only hurt me. Today, I love and forgive as quickly as possible, and do make the choice to love and even pray for those who have hurt me. What a wonderful blessing to me! You and your post confirm that I am where I need to be, and that life is full of beauty and love, despite the occasional hurtful person or event. In Munay ~:o)


4 Sophie February 24, 2011 at 12:47 am

“Today, I love and forgive as quickly as possible” : exactly! It’s the happiest way forward, I think. 🙂


5 MeMichelle February 24, 2011 at 12:53 am

It is the happiest forward Sophie–It surely is. I’ve received many gifts in my life, but I have to say this is one of the most beautiful and gentle, yet powerful of them all…Spirit is this by nature, and therefore I must be too-I cannot separate myself from Spirit, and therefore cannot separate myself from this powerful and miraculous ability to choose love.~


6 Sophie February 25, 2011 at 2:34 am

That is true!


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