Cultivate Awareness to Discover Unconscious Beliefs
How do you discover what your unconscious beliefs are? Cultivate awareness!
Last Monday (This was written on Nov 25, 2009) I wrote about how what I am worth is created by my unconscious beliefs. So how do I discover what those unconscious beliefs are?
I want to share a rather personal example that came to light in my life only a few days ago because I believe it is rampant in our culture.
A friend of mine insisted for months that I hated men and that I needed to get over it fast. I found that really surprising because believe me when I tell you that I like and love men!
So I dug a little deeper. Nothing.
I muscle tested around the beliefs that I hated men, did not like them, etc. Nothing.
I decided to let it be and just watch myself ~ awareness, Baby! ~
I lay low like a cat pretending to sleep, waiting for the mouse to dash across the room. And all of a sudden, there it was: a very, very quick thought, barely formulated, censured as it was being born, because it runs contrary to what I WANT to believe and how I CHOOSE to live. I was watching TV. Some sad story of what humans can do to each other sometimes. And I heard myself think “Not surprising. Men are b*****ds” Woh, woh, woh, WOH! Hold on a minute! Where did THAT come from?
Quick flash of shame. Quick look around the room. Did anyone hear that thought? Pheeww! No one around. And it WAS a thought anyway!
Non-judgement, Sophie. Non-judgement! BREATHE…. Have the compassion you would have for one of your clients.
Ok, got that.
Back to the cat lying in wait. And there it is: in French, of course, I can hear my mother say the equivalent in French. I’ll spare you the translation!
It is relevant to share with you that both her and I were raised by violent cruel men who often behaved not very nicely and were emotionally, verbally and physically abusive. It leaves a legacy that you understand if you’ve been there but I sincerely hope for you that you cannot quite imagine what I mean.
So I did NOT hate men, which would be a choice and a strong emotion. But underneath my conscious life choices I was taught to believe that the only explanation for the abuse women suffered in my family (and by extension the whole world) was that “men are b******ds”. A little simplistic I know. But hey, most ideas are simple when you are an infant, a toddler, an 8 year old.
I have also remembered many lifetimes that compounded that belief.
I think I was probably born ready for that thought to be programmed in my neuro-net. So whenever a man did something I did not understand or that reminded me of past abuse in any way, that thought was triggered and ran its little routine, creating more trouble in my present.
Can you see how insidious and subtle those deeply embedded karmic or familial or cultural beliefs can be?
I removed that belief yesterday and I feel much lighter! Now I can align myself to my conscious truth which is that I like and love men!
When clients come to me in a session it’s a lot easier to work with them than with myself because I can hear their thoughts, feel their emotions and their body’s reactions OUTSIDE of me. So I know exactly what is going on and I can unearth their hidden negative beliefs on their behalf. But when we work on ourselves, AWARENESS is really the key. Until we feel that we are in alignment with Love, in our actions as well as emotions. Because Love is all our Soul truly wants.
This post was written on Nov 25 2009, just a couple of days after I cleared that negative family belief about men. At the time I did not have the courage to publish it because the story it tells felt so personal. Now I think it is important to share it with you because so many of us UNCONSCIOUSLY carry old familial beliefs.